I am on vacation, so filling in with your predictions for the upcoming two weeks will be a guest psychic and drag queen. Madam X has asked to remain anonymous. Good luck!
ARIES (March 20-April 18)
Gurl, I really didn’t want to start out negative but the cards are the cards. Ten of Wands (Opposition) Five of Swords (Defeat) and Seven of Swords (Hidden Agenda) all are telling me to tell you to watch out. You must feel like you’re a cactus right now because you are surrounded by pricks.
TAURUS (April 19-May 19)
Now is not the time to give up, it’s all coming together for you. Sure, it’s been hard but I always say some of my favorite things are hard. Stick with it. Remember if at first you don’t succeed, suck, suck until you do suck seed.
GEMINI (May 20-June 19)
Thank you for being a friend. Someone is going to come to you for something: might be advice, might be a favor, might be for something a little more valuable like your money. Carefully consider everything before giving it up. Remember, unless you have a sugar daddy, you become broke faster than you become rich.
CANCER (June 20-July 21)
Times have been tough, but as a great woman said, “You made it through the wilderness. Somehow you made it through-oo-oo,” It’s starting to come together for you. Don’t forget how hard you fought, and what you sacrificed. Be proud!
LEO (July 22-August 21)
Separate the truth from the lies, gurl…separate the truth from the lies. I see stability, protection, rewards all coming your way. It’s gonna rain for you! You just have to figure out the truth and tell someone, “If you insist on being two-faced, at least let of those faces be pretty.”
VIRGO (August 22- September 21)
My little Virgo, it’s as plain as his lap on my face: go with the simple answer. Stop overcomplicating things. It’s right in front of you. Once you realize that, victory is yours.
LIBRA (August 22- September 21)
Lately you have seen about as much action as the 9 button on my microwave, but that is all about to change. Big changes are ahead. Make seven is your lucky number during this two week period. Look for “sevens” to lead the way, I always do.
SCORPIO (October 22- November 20)
Someone near you is going through a difficult time. You feel more “mothering” and nurturing than ever. Now is the time to put that bottom to work. Use your bottom-less charm to ease the tension for someone close to you.
SAGITTARIUS (November 21- December 20)
Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. I’m talking about your finances, gurl. If I had a dollar for all the times you tried to save money lately, we’d both have one dollar. Let’s cut back on the spending for a little while. Either that, or you better hope you marry rich.
CAPRICORN (December 21-January 19)
My little Goat, I predict for you the same thing I hear when I’m on stage, “Werk, werk, werk.” It’s all about work for you during this period. Now, an honest day’s work is fine but don’t make it the only thing in your life. They’re just dollars, gurl, not a parent’s love.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18)
Who is this man in your life that is holding your future in his hands? Help me out here. It’s someone in authority, and right now they have all the control. My advice, use your “feminine” wiles and charm to win him over. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, baby…unzip more flies that way too.
PISCES (February 19-March 19)
Fish! Some people live and learn… you just live. Stop repeating the same actions over and over and expecting different results. I’ll tell you what I hear sometimes when I’m tipped a dollar, “Change!” Someone new will offer you unsolicited advice. Take it.
<3 <3 <3 I wanted to thank Madam X for filling in for me while I’m away. She wanted to keep her identity secret, but she said in lieu of your thanks please be sure to tip a queen next time you see one. If you'd like to find out more about your future, or request Madam X's return email me: ericXkirby@gmail.com
Michael says: I dreamed I had to get a party ready for the queen. We were in a fabulous mansion and I was decorating. Everything had to be perfect: opulence and glamour – my favorite. I was decorating using pearls. There was a big bowl of them, and I wanted to string them and hang them around. The problem was I couldn’t get them on the string, and they kept rolling away. Even when I thought I had a few strung, they would pop off. The big bowl of pearls was becoming empty. I started to become very frustrated and yelled at everybody helping me. Suddenly I was back in my kindergarten class, but It wasn’t really my class and I was the teacher, which is funny because I don’t work in a school and I don’t do children. The kids were doing that craft where you glue pasta to paper. The pasta was little shells which reminded me of oysters probably because that reminded me of the pearls I needed. I woke up feeling very frustrated.
Eric says: Even while you sleep, your mind is working. It is trying to communicate and help you, but sometimes the messages are hard to understand. The mind often speaks in metaphors. When we think about pearls, we often think of the phrase, “pearls of wisdom.” In your dream you are working on making complicated arrangements for a party in honor of the queen. The queen is likely a female authority figure, and you are working very hard to impress her. The trouble is, you are having trouble stringing your “pearls” together. I believe this means that you are having trouble stringing your thoughts and ideas together in a way that will convey your message to the “queen.” Every time you think you have it, the ideas slip away from you. In your dream, you are suddenly transported from a showy, opulent party needing complicated arrangements your kindergarten class. I believe that your mind is telling you to stop over complicating things, and worrying so much that your ideas are perfect and impressive, simple is better. Return to the basics. You guessed yourself that the shells the children had were oyster shells. If you open one of those oyster shells, you are sure to find the “pearl” inside.
Using the Tarot, I drew the High Priestess, turned upside down. The High Priestess symbolizes your intuition. Drawing it upside down means you are ignoring your intuition and instincts. Trust more in your instincts and stop worrying if your ideas are spectacular and over the top. This is supported by your next two cards: the King of Pentacles, practicality and pragmatism and the Ace of Pentacles. The King tells you to take a more straight forward approach and the Ace of Pentacles ensures that your hard work will be rewarded. Stop always worrying about the sparkle, less is more.
Michael says: I have to give a presentation at work, and I am really struggling. I couldn’t think of a “hook” to wow everyone. I was focusing more on the big reveal, the “a-ha” moment, probably even more so than the information I needed to present. I think your interpretation is on the spot. There are a lot of presentations due that day, and I really want to stand out, but I want to be taken seriously too. I’ll take your advice. Less show more info.
Your dreams are a look inside your mind. Have your dream interpreted for only $8. Dreams may be sent anonymously, if you wish. Email Eric X. Kirby
ARIES (March 20-April 18)
Stop trying to plan two moves ahead. Good things are on the horizon for you. All it takes is one big idea, and it will come to you like a bolt from the blue. This is a lucky time for you. Play the odds.
TAURUS (April 19-May 19)
You think you have all the answers, but there may be more than meets the eye. Now is not the time for hasty decisions or worse yet jumping to conclusions. Keep some information to yourself.
GEMINI (May 20-June 19)
The answers don’t lie in the past. Whoever said, “If you don’t learn from history, you’re condemned to repeat it” didn’t know your situation. Draw on your experience and try looking at things in a more mature way.
CANCER (June 20-July 21)
Don’t worry. It’s not the end of the world, it just feels that way. Take a few minutes to look back on things. Stop regretting why things aren’t what they should be and celebrate that they are much better than they used to be.
LEO (July 22-August 21)
You have never been the one to let moss grow under your feet. You are always moving: onto the next project, onto the next cause, onto the next lover. Well, climb off and take a moment for yourself.
VIRGO (August 22- September 21)
You shine through the veil of illusion like a bright new dawn, but just because you knew better don’t lord it over everyone else. Sometimes being right is its own reward. You don’t need a parade.
LIBRA (August 22- September 21)
I still see some deception around you, but you will soon get to the bottom of things. No one can fool you for long during this period. Good things will come to you, not by luck but as a result of your past actions.
SCORPIO (October 22- November 20)
Master of your own destiny that’s what you are. Isn’t it nice to have so many choices, the hard part will be selecting just one. My advice is to take the choice that most familiar, the one that seems like an old friend.
SAGITTARIUS (November 21- December 20)
Fun times, fun people, that is what you are all about in this period. You may find yourself staying up late, but it’s not from worry your mind is racing with the possibilities. An invitation is on its way, be sure to R.S.V.P.
CAPRICORN (December 21-January 19)
So many choices, which one to pick? Simple, just close your eyes and use your intuition. Go with your first choice. You will feel more satisfaction if you go with your gut feeling.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18)
Stick with it just a little bit longer. What seems like a tiny spark in the night will grow in size and brilliance like a bright new dawn. Your perseverance will be rewarded.
PISCES (February 19-March 19)
A little more time management would be good. You can’t please all the people all of the time. While you want to be heard, you should start first by listening. Remember: there is a difference between an oration and a conversation.
William says: I am walking down an alleyway with my boyfriend. When I look over my shoulder, I see that there is a lion following us. I whisper this to my boyfriend, but he doesn’t seem to care in fact he thinks it’s kind of funny. I’m still nervous about it, and keep looking over my shoulder to make sure it hasn't come any closer.
We come out of the alley into a crowd of people. The lion is further away now and I almost forget about it. There are so many people around; that I know the lion won’t attack. I have a good time and my boyfriend and I return home. As we open the door to my apartment, the lion jumps out and attacks.. I wake up feeling very scared.
Eric says: Lions in many cases represent rage, either yours or someone else’s. In your dream, you are walking with you boyfriend and the lion is close by. You are in a crowd of people and the lion is further away and doesn't seem like a threat, but the minute you return home the lion pounces out of nowhere and attacks. Back in the alley, alone with your boyfriend, you try to talk about your fear of “the lion” but he doesn't seem to think it’s an issue, he even thinks it is funny. I am afraid that your boyfriend’s temper is the issue. You are close to him, thus the two of you walking down a long alley together, and you don’t worry about his temper when there are other people around. When you are alone, things may be different. You feel his anger when the two of you are alone. The email of your dream is anonymous, so I don’t know the depth of your relationship with you boyfriend, or the extent of his anger. It may be represented by his mocking you, or passive aggressive behavior or it may be something more serious.
I think you should think seriously about the anger so near to you. It might take a third party, as simple as a family member or as serious as a professional to help your boyfriend with this anger issue. Dreams are metaphors your brain uses to communicate with you. This one is pretty clear.
For your Tarot, I pulled the Strength card, coincidentally represented by a a lion, the Wheel of Fortune card, meaning change, and the Four of Cups. The Four of Cups often shows up when you are missing something that is very obvious - it is staring you right in the face. Be strong as the Tarot advises and don't ignore what is right in front of you. Contact me if you need referrals to professional groups that can help.
William says: Thank you. That is very helpful and confirmed something I have thought about for awhile and kept finding excuses to ignore it.
Your dreams are a look inside your mind. Have your dream interpreted for only $8. Dreams may be sent anonymously, if you wish. Email Eric X. Kirby
ARIES (March 20-April 18)
The journey isn’t over quite yet. For a long time you felt you were kept in a holding pattern. Now it is more “slow and steady.” My advice to you is to stop being so serious. Enjoy the ride, even if it isn’t going at your pace. A big decision lies on the path ahead of you.
TAURUS (April 19-May 19)
You are like a boxer waiting in his corner for the bell to ring. >ding< Soon you will find a person or cause worth fighting for. Stand your ground. You are emotionally committed to seeing it through. You will win, but keep in mind the cost you may pay.
GEMINI (May 20-June 19)
Alright.. you may suffer a setback but it is only temporary. Don’t let it get the better of you. Time not only heals, it gives you a new perspective. Wait for the right moment. Remember what they say about if you don’t succeed…
CANCER (June 20-July 21)
So many others are getting advice to wait during this period, but I advise you do not. Stop waiting for a sign. You know what to do. Keep an eye on someone near you, a coworker, family or friend. This “frienemy” doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
LEO (July 22-August 21)
The allure of the new and excited called and you answered, but in the cold light of day can you honestly say that you did the right thing? Once the rush of excitement wears off, was it really a good idea to stray from the “old reliable” way of the past?
VIRGO (August 22- September 21)
You can see it so easily, why can’t everybody else? Someone will come to you seeking your advice, which is good because everything seems very clear to you during this period. Try to find the balance between giving advice and being condescending.
LIBRA (August 22- September 21)
Don’t jump to any conclusions, but things are not exactly what they seem. Sneaking around is never a good thing. You should know the situation because you have seen it at its worst. Use what you know to help you decide what to do next.
SCORPIO (October 22- November 20)
The time of loneliness, confusion or self-doubt is behind. You.are looking straight ahead as you travel down this new path. Congratulations for not dwelling on your past.
SAGITTARIUS (November 21- December 20)
People are the answer during this period, social butterfly. Now is not the time for quiet study or stay-at-home chores. Get out, see friends or make new ones and live. Share your bright, cheerful insight with others and they will follow you the way a sunflower follows the path of the sun.
CAPRICORN (December 21-January 19)
You have done a good job of hiding your feelings or desires from the world, maybe a littlee too good. You know what the real story is, even though you don’t show it to anyone else. Don’t be afraid to let someone in on the secret.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18)
I still sense the feeling of things out of balance in you. But do not despair. It’s all coming together very soon. Listen to your inner Cyndi Lauper, “Don’t be afraid to let it show. Your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow.”
PISCES (February 19-March 19)
It might not be obvious. Long distance runners run to relieve stress but may become addicted to rush of a runner’s high and then can’t miss a day of it. It’s not just true for athletes. Look at what you can’t live without. Ask yourself is it a commitment or a compulsion? Slow down a little.
